I Am

I was regretting the past and fearing the future

Suddenly, God was speaking,

“My Name is I Am”

He paused. I waited. He Continued.

“When you live in the past, with all its mistakes and regrets,

It is hard. I am not there.

My name is not I was”

“When you live in the future with all its problems and fears,

It is hard. I am not there.

My name is not I will be”

“When you live in this moment,

It is not hard. I am here.

My Name is I Am.”

A Simple Prayer

Where Do You Start?

A tourist once visited a cathedral where an artisan was working on a huge mosaic. A vast empty wall was before the artist, and the tourist asked, “Aren't you worried about all that space that you need to fill up and how you will ever finish it?"

The artist replied simply that he knew what he could do in each day.  Each morning, he marked off the area he would complete, and he didn't allow himself to worry about what lay outside that space.  He just took one day at a time, and one day the mosaic would be finished.

Many of the great obstacles that stall our momentum are very much like that great wall.  We can worry about the bigger picture we have to create.  Or we can simply start to fill them with wonderful, unique images - the imprint of our lives - by doing the very best we can with each day we are given.

Where do you start?  The best place to start is wherever you are today​.

Stop & Pray

As the day goes on, we can pause where situations must be met and decisions made, and renew the simple request: Thy will, not mine, be done.”  Just saying it over and over will often enable us to clear a channel choked up with anger, fear, frustration, or misunderstanding, and permit us to return to the surest help of all – our search for God’s will, not our own, in the moment of stress.

Bring Your Umbrella

One summer, a drought threatened the crop in a small town. On a hot and dry Sunday, the old parish priest told his congregation, "There isn't anything that will save us except to pray for rain. Go home, pray, believe, and come back next Sunday ready to thank God for sending rain."

The people did as they were told and returned to church the following Sunday. But as soon as the old priest saw them, he was furious.

"We can't worship today. You do not yet believe," he said.

"But," they protested, "we prayed, and we do believe." 

"Believe?" he responded. "Then where are your umbrellas?"

The story applies to all of us. There are those people who leave their umbrellas at home. Throughout their lives, they are merely hoping their wishes and prayers will bear fruit, but they expect little.

Others expect their dreams and desires to come to pass. It is as if they journey through life always prepared for something to happen.

Today, how will you approach that which you are yearning for? Will you expect your prayers and work to bring about hoped-for results?

Will you bring your umbrella?

Grief Cycle

The Snake

There once was a man who, while walking in the woods, found a poisonous snake that was frozen stiff as a board.  He knew it was poisonous, but he took pity on the poor frozen thing and brought it home with him.  He put the snake in front of the fireplace in his living room so it would thaw out.  Realizing that when the snake woke up it would be hungry, the man went into the kitchen and warmed up a bowl of milk so the snake would have something to eat.  He then brought the milk back into the living room to feed the snake.

As the man was putting the bowl of milk in front of the snake, it lashed out and bit him.  Almost immediately, he could feel the venom rush through his veins and he know he would be dead in a matter of minutes.

With his last strength the man looked at the snake and asked, “Snake, why did you bite me?  I found you frozen in the woods and brought you into my home and thawed you out.  I gave you warm milk to drink.  Why did you bite me?

As the man was fading into death, he heard the snake hiss these words, “Stop your whining.  You knew I was a poisonous snake when you picked me up.  What did you expect me to do, kiss you?

The attraction to sin is like that snake.  We may enjoy its company for a short time, but sooner or later, it’s going to bite us.  No matter how nice it may seem, no matter how much understanding we may have, no matter what a good person we are, it’s going to bite us!  And its bite is quiet deadly!​

Don't Change to Please Others

It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring — they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay. It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unlovable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world.

But the fact that you are — that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others — is a strength. Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough​.

Myriad Dimensions of Love

Only in the imagination does love promise happiness forever. Through experience, we discover the myriad dimensions of love. Sometimes love is joy. Sometimes passion. Sometimes moments of serenity amongst the laughter and sadness. Generally, love is soft. But it also may sting. Love is forever changing, perhaps a smile will slow our pace one minute, but a sign of danger may push us to act, to respond, to make a decision the next.

All that love is, there's much it is not. Love is not shaming. Nor is it punishing. Love does not gloat, criticize, degrade, or diminish. At times we think we're filled with love and yet we selfishly serve our needs before another's. And when we truly express our love to another, there's no mistaking the warm glow that fills the body.

How simple to be a giver of love and yet how forgetful we are when the opportunities arise.

The Jesus Nut

I read a little story about helicopters recently that I imagine is true, and I would like to share it with you. Also, I have often wished I had a helicopter and could fly it. They can go just about anywhere and land anywhere. Neat! But that is pie in the sky. Anyhow, the story I read pointed out how complex a machine the helicopter is and went on to say that despite its complexity the whole thing depends on that whirly blade or rotor that keeps it in the air and moving. The story said that these rotors are held in place by one simple hexagonal nut. And the name given to that nut is “the Jesus nut.”

Jesus, the one who comes from above, the one who speaks the words of God, is also the one who holds our lives together and permits us to “fly”.

Unfolding the Rose

It is only a tiny rosebud,

a flower of God's design;

But I cannot unfold the petals

with these clumsy hands of mine.

The secret of unfolding flowers

is not known to such as I.

GOD opens this flower so sweetly,

when in my hands they die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud,

this flower of God's design,

Then how can I have the wisdom

to unfold this life of mine?

So I'll trust in Him for leading

each moment of my day.

I will look to him for His guidance

each step of the pilgrim way.

The pathway that lies before me,

only my Heavenly Father knows.

I'll trust Him to unfold the moments,

just as He unfolds the rose.​

May I Have the Courage Today

Reflection on John's Gospel 21:1-19

Peter’s rehabilitation with Jesus is neat. Jesus doesn’t address him as Peter (Rock) but as Simon, Son of John. Kind of like our Mothers addressing us by our full names when we were in trouble – remember? And Peter was in trouble. He had denied that he even knew Jesus three times and now three times he had to tell Jesus he loved him more than the other disciples. And we know that eventually Peter would be crucified up side down to “glorify God.” Scripture tells us: “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13).

If all of us were asked by Jesus: “Do you love me?”, I would hope we would respond somewhere along the lines of Peter. But that is a difficult question to answer. Do I truly love Jesus more than anything or anyone else in this world? Lord, please give me the grace and strength to answer as Peter did: “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Dandelions

A man who took great pride in his lawn found himself with a large crop of dandelions.  He tried every method he knew to get rid of them.  Still they plagued him.

Finally, he wrote the Department of Agriculture.  He enumerated all the things he had tried and closed with the question: “What shall I do now?”

In due course the reply came: “We suggest you learn to love them.”

“… accept the things we cannot change…”

Faith

It is Finished

So they took Jesus, and carrying the cross himself he went out to what is called the Place of the Skull, in Hebrew, Golgotha. There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, with Jesus in the middle. Pilate also had an inscription written and put on the cross.  It read, “Jesus the Nazorean, the King of the Jews.”  Now many of the Jews read this inscription, because the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; and it was written in Hebrew, Latin, and Greek.  So the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate, “Do not write “The King of the Jews,' but that he said, 'I am the King of the Jews.'" Pilate answered, "What I have written, I have written." When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his clothes and divided them into four shares, a share for each soldier. They also took his tunic, but the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from the top down. So they said to one another, "Let's not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it will be,” in order that the passage of scripture might be fulfilled (that says): “They divided my garments among them, and for my vesture they cast lots.”  This is what the soldiers did. Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.”  And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.  After this, aware that everything was now finished, in order that the scripture might be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I thirst.” There was a vessel filled with common wine. So they put a sponge soaked in wine on a sprig of hyssop and put it up to his mouth. When Jesus had taken the wine, he said, “It is finished.”  And bowing his head, he handed over the spirit.

From The Gospel of Joh​n

I Know the Shepherd

There was once a Shakespearean actor who was known everywhere for his one-man shows of readings and recitations from the classics. He would always end his performance with a dramatic reading of Psalm 23.

Each night, without exception, as the actor began his recitation -  “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want” the crowd would listen attentively. And then, at the conclusion of the Psalm, they would rise in thunderous applause in appreciation of the actor's incredible ability to bring the verse to life.

But one night, just before the actor was to offer his customary recital of Psalm 23, a young man from the audience spoke up. “Sir, do you mind if tonight I recite Psalm 23?" The actor was quite taken back by this unusual request, but he allowed the young man to come forward and stand front and center on the stage to recite the Psalm, knowing that the ability of this unskilled youth would be no match for his own talent.

With a soft voice, the young man began to recite the words of the Psalm. When he was finished, there was no applause. There was no standing ovation as on other nights. All that could be heard was the sound of weeping. The audience had been so moved by the young man's recitation that every eye was full of tears. Amazed by what he had heard, the actor said to the youth, "I don't understand. I have been performing Psalm 23 for years. I have a lifetime of experience and training - but I have never been able to move an audience as you have tonight. Tell me, what is your secret?"

The young man quietly replied, "Well sir, you know the Psalm; I know the Shepherd."

But Still He Walked

He could hear the crowds screaming "crucify" "crucify"...

He could hear the hatred in their voices,
These were his chosen people.
He loved them,
And they were going to crucify him.
He was beaten, bleeding and weakened... his heart was broken,
But still He walked.

He could see the crowd as he came from the palace.
He knew each of the faces so well.
He had created them.
He knew every smile, laugh, and shed tear,
But now they were contorted with rage and anger...his heart broke,
But still He walked.

Was he scared?

You and I would have been
So his humanness would have mandated that he was. He felt alone.
His disciples had left, denied, and even betrayed him.
He searched the crowd for a loving face and he saw very few.
Then he turned his eyes to the only one that mattered
And he knew that he would never be alone.
He looked back at the crowd, at the people who were spitting
At him, throwing rocks at him and mocking him and he knew
That because of him, they would never be alone.
So for them, He walked.

The sounds of the hammer striking the spikes echoed through
The crowd. The sounds of his cries echoed even louder,
The cheers of the crowd, as his hands and feet
Were nailed to the cross, intensified with each blow.
Loudest of all was the still small voice inside his
Heart that whispered "I am with you, my son",
And God's heart broke.
He had let his son walk.

Jesus could have asked God to end his suffering,
But instead he asked God to forgive.
Not to forgive him, but to forgive the ones who were persecuting him.
As he hung on that cross, dying an unimaginable death,
He looked out and saw, not only the faces in the crowd,
But also, the face of every person yet to be,
And his heart filled with love.
As his body was dying, his heart was alive.
Alive with the limitless, unconditional love he feels for each of us.
That is why He walked.

When I forget how much My God loves me,
I remember his walk.
When I wonder if I can be forgiven,
I remember his walk.
When I need reminded of how to live like Christ,
I think of his walk.
And to show him how much I love him,
I wake up each morning, turn my eyes to him,
And I walk

One Tiny Light

Imagine that you are in a huge cave 250 feet below the surface of the earth. You're down there with about 40 other souls. The cave is artificially lit, as no daylight ever reaches its interior. Suddenly the lights go out.

The darkness closes in and encases you like a velvet glove. You can't see your hand in front of your face. No one makes a sound. Total darkness. Total silence. Total stillness. You're in the heart of Mother Earth.

Then your guide strikes a tiny match. The thick darkness disappears like magic and your eyes take in a marvelous scene.

The light from that one match illuminates the whole cave quite clearly.  You can see everyone there. Amazing!

All it takes to dispel the darkness of that huge, dark cave is just one person's tiny light.

And the old saying “let your light shine” takes on a deeper, “secret” meaning.

You don't have to overwhelm those you meet with your knowledge, wisdom, accomplishments, or connections. Why use a floodlight when an ordinary lantern (or even a candle) will do?

By all means let your light shine, but please: Make it inviting, not blinding!​

Holding Patterns

Many times God will allow a painful situation or a painful circumstance in our life to "swallow us up." This season in our spiritual growth is a holding pattern. We can't move to the left or the right. All we can do is sit, like Jonah sat in the belly of that great fish, so God can have our undivided attention and speak to us.

God put Jonah in a holding pattern because He needed to speak to his heart. Jonah was all alone. There were no friends to call, no colleagues to drop by, no books to read, no food to eat, no interference's, and no interruptions. He had plenty of time to sit, think, meditate, and pray. When we're deep down in the midst of a difficult situation, God can talk to us. When He has our undivided attention, He can show us things about ourselves that we might not otherwise have seen​.

Stained Glass

People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out; but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.

- Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross

Today's Meditation:

What kind of light shines from inside of me? Does any light shine at all? When a complete stranger sees me on the street, does that person notice anything different about me, or is the light that comes through me and from me just about the same as everyone else's?

I ask myself this often because I see people who seem to shine, who seem to have a brilliant internal light that shines through in their eyes and in their smiles, and I would love to be like that.

But is that something that we're born with or without? Or something that we can develop?

If I'm to have that glow that comes from inside, then I truly must love myself. I must treat myself well and believe truly in my worth. I must accept myself as I am and not subject myself to artificial expectations. I must be me, and only me, and proud to be me.

I do have plenty of beauty inside of me--every creature that has been created on this planet does, so why would I be any different? But does that beauty shine forth as a beacon for others, as an example of what we can be, or do I keep it hidden by refusing to acknowledge it?

We all will go through periods of darkness, but darkness outside doesn't mean that things have to be dark on the inside.

You have a beautiful light that shines inside of you, a unique light that is yours alone.

Can you make it grow so that it's visible to all who meet you?

- From Living Life Fully​

The Inner Choice

Often we look at the outside world and find it in a state of seeming chaos or disorder. We feel compelled to transform the situation from one of turmoil into one of peace, yet we are often disappointed in our best attempts to do so. One reason for this is that we cannot bring to the world what we do not have to offer. Peace starts in our own minds and hearts, not outside of ourselves, and until its roots are firmly entrenched in our own selves, we cannot manifest it externally. Once we have found it within, we can share it with our family, our community, and the whole wide world. Some of us may already be doing just that, but for most of us, the first step is looking within and honestly evaluating the state of our own relationship to peacefulness.

Interestingly, people who manifest peace internally are not different from us; they have chattering thoughts and troubled emotions like we all do. The difference is that they do not lend their energy to them, so those thoughts and feelings can simply rise and fall like the waves of the ocean without disturbing the deeper waters of peacefulness within. We all have this ability to choose how we distribute our energy, and practice enables us to grow increasingly more serene as we choose the vibration of peace over the vibration of conflict. We begin to see our thoughts and feelings as tiny objects on the surface of our being that pose no threat to the deep interior stillness that is the source of peacefulness.

When we find that we are able to locate ourselves more and more in the deeper waters and less on the tumultuous surface of our being, we have discovered a lasting relationship with peace that will enable us to inspire peace beyond ourselves. Until then, we help the world most by practicing the art of choosing peace within.

By Madisyn Taylo​r

Palm Sunday of the Passion of the Lord

We are about to embark on a journey that is unprecedented in our history.  As we enter into Holy Week, most of us are sequestered in our homes while others are working to keep us safe and secure.  During all of our Holy Week services our churches will be empty.  But in a strange way, that is OK.  Because what we are commemorating during Holy Week did not begin in churches.  It began in the streets of Jerusalem, moved to a private room, then to the Garden of Gethsemane, the precincts of the Temple, the Palaces of Herod and Pilate, Golgotha and finally a garden tomb.  Our commemoration of Holy Week does not depend on special buildings. Our commemoration must begin, grow and remain in our hearts.  It doesn’t matter where we are!

Three years ago, I wrote the following reflection.  It resonates with me so much that I am repeating it now.

I believe that the foundation of Christianity and our Catholic faith is love.  And I believe that the whole point of Christian life is for us to receive the unconditional and overwhelming love of Christ and share it with other people.  So, as I reflected on today’s readings for Palm Sunday and the Passion of the Lord, I found myself asking “where is the love in these readings”?  We begin Mass with a story of triumph that leads to death.  We hear about betrayal, the miscarriage of justice, torture, indifference, and execution.   And today’s readings end with a sealed tomb.  It is an emotional roller coaster.

In this dramatic narrative, Jesus is a lonely figure.  Although he is surrounded by people he is very much alone.  With few exceptions his friends failed him, one disciple betrayed him, another disciple denied him and the rest of them abandoned him.  The chief priests, scribes and elders spat on him and slapped him.  The Roman soldiers mocked and struck him.  The crowed reviled him.  Jesus endured all this humiliation, pain and suffering in obedience to his father and out of his unconditional love for us.  The story of the Crucifixion of Jesus is tragic, painful and shocking. Yet this is the greatest love story ever told.  Jesus on the cross is an eternal reminder of the profound love God has for us.  Jesus hanging on the cross is a story about love.   

During this Holy Week, we all have an opportunity to unite our hearts, our suffering, our pain and our sadness with that of Jesus.  Although we cannot join together physically, we can join our prayers and observances spiritually.  All of our Holy Week services can be viewed online.  You can watch them with your family or alone.  The schedule is on the parish webpage: www.holytrinityptc.org. And as we reflect on the Passion, death and Resurrection of Jesus, please remember all the people who are putting their lives in danger so that we can live safe and happy lives.  

God our Father,
in the passion and death of Jesus, your Son,
you make us aware
of how deeply you love us.
Make us also conscious of how evil sin is
and help us to keep believing in your love
when we have to bear the cross of suffering.
For after the cross follows the resurrection,
for Jesus and for us.
Give us this firm faith
through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen.

And the People Stayed Home

Saying a Prayer

There is a story about a sea captain who in his retirement skippered a boat taking day-trippers to Shetland Islands.

One day, the boat was full of young people. They laughed at the old captain when they saw him say a prayer before sailing out to sea, because the day was fine and the sea calm.

However, they weren’t long at sea when a storm suddenly blew up and the boat began to pitch violently. The terrified passengers came to the captain and asked him to join them in prayer.

But he replied, “I say my prayers when it’s calm. When it’s rough, I attend to my ship.”​