In today’s gospel from Matthew 18:21-35, St Peter asked Jesus, "Lord, if my brother sins against me,
how often must I forgive? As many as seven times?" Jesus’ answer was staggering, "I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” Jesus then told a parable about a man who was forgiven a colossal debt but who in turn refused to forgive a very small debt. The man was turned “over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt.” And Jesus warns us that “So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart." According to Jesus, there is no statute of limitations on forgiveness.
As adult Christians, we all know that forgiveness is one of the keys to the kingdom. Yet so often we are like the sinner in today’s first reading from Sirach 27:30, “Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.” Why do we do it? What is it about bitterness, vengeance and hate that is so addictive? To be honest, I don’t know the answer. But I do know that clinging on to these destructive emotions can enslave us and prevent us from living full, joy filled lives.
A number of years ago someone gave me a book called, The Book of Joy, written by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Douglas Abrams. The book chronicles a weeklong visit between Archbishop Tutu and the Dalai Lama to celebrate the Dalai Lama’s 80th birthday. There is a beautiful chapter on forgiveness in this book. Both the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu had myriad reasons to be bitter and angry but they weren’t. Both men chose the course of magnanimity. Archbishop Tutu contended that “we do have a nobility of spirit…. you and you and you and you have the potential to be incredible instruments of compassion and forgiveness” (p. 231). Archbishop Tutu went on to say that “Forgiveness …is the only way to heal ourselves and to be free from the past” (p. 234). Quoting from another of his books, The Book of Forgiving, that he coauthored with his daughter, Mpho, Archbishop Tutu wrote, “Without forgiveness, we remain tethered to the person who harmed us. We are bound to the chains of bitterness, tied together, trapped. Until we can forgive the person who harmed us, that person will hold the keys to our happiness, that person will be our jailer. When we forgive, we take back control of our own fate and our feelings. We become our own liberator” (pp. 234-35).
In his Good Shepherd discourse, Jesus said, “I am the gate. Whoever enters through me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture. A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly” (John 10:9-10). Unforgiveness is like the thief who steals, slaughters and destroys life. Jesus came to give us abundant life. That life is one filled with mercy, compassion and love.
O God, Most High,
you are slow to anger and rich in compassion.
Keep the memory of your mercy alive in us;
calm our anger and take away all our resentments.
Create in us a new heart,
formed in the image of your Son,
a heart strong enough to bear every wound
and gentle enough to forgive every offense,
so that the world may see
how your people love one another.
We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ,
your Son, who lives and reigns with you
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God for ever and ever.
AMEN
